Lessons from 2013 #6: Be as dramatic or quiet as you want to be with your feelings, just also ask for help


Folks who know Christianity are familiar with Footprints in the Sand, a Jesus Meme about how when a guy looked over a sandy beach walk that represented his life, he thought he was walking alone at hard parts where he only saw one set of footprints, but then Jesus tells him he was actually being carried then. Inspired by the concept of “never walking alone,” for one dramatic action, I examined how I could translate this secularly to describe cultures of support in queer communities and chosen families.

I made a video [http://youtu.be/kHoGcuZO6gY], Femme Footprints in the Sand, this year because I felt the power and force of my friends, loves, dates, comrades, colleagues, and almost-strangers collectively holding me up when moving through ptsd and heartbreak at the same time felt/feels like walking alone along the edge of the earth. But, I was not walking alone. Talking to people it resonated and came out that so many people do this for each other because This Is What We Can Do. Support one step at a time, leaning on each other and letting ourselves be caught beautifully when we do lean in.


And so for the second part of this lesson — ask for help — it is crucially important to also accept the help. To let yourself be carried sometimes. Call people to you, and then be full of your truths. Be courageous and nice to yourself and as clear as you can be. I find it hard to tell the whole story when I ask for help, but then I don’t get all the help I need.

Guess what? 2013 taught us that fucked up things will keep happening to you and/or your people over the course of our lives, so why try to be “polite” or restrained with our feels, granted we’re not harming others? Therefore also filed under “be as dramatic or not with your feelings as you want,” I’ve also enjoyed flinging myself onto random doorsteps and USPS boxes; engaging in deep imagination scenarios; wearing incredible outfits; breaking shit; and sometimes just staying home and f-e-e-l-i-n-g.

This is gay rage people, go be queens about it and get some people to wear mermaid outfits if it helps.


[Femme] Footprints in the sand was shot October 2013 at Riis beach. Thanks to Heather Acs, Bevin Branlandingham, Lizxnn Disaster, Kristin Li, Jacquelyn Mary, Ezra Nepon, Jade Payne, Daisy Schiff, Lauren Spencer, Lila Starbuck, and all the folks who helped on this project. What film fests should I submit it to?

Video link: http://youtu.be/kHoGcuZO6gY


Lessons from 2013 is a mini-series dedicated to all the ways folks make it through in general, and to my personal resilience gathered from a bad year. See the series here:  http://www.damienluxe.com/category/top-10-lists/