Femme Hacks: of Household Bondage
Sometimes shit breaks in your apartment building and everyone holds out waiting for someone else to fix it. “The super is supposed to do it!” You know. But no one fixes it, and a kind of grudgematch ensues, where the thing is clearly broken and its staying that way cuz NOT MY JOB. It’s a cute look for folks who’ve just been in apartments too damn long.
This happened to my floor’s garbage chute handle a few weeks ago. First the handle broke half off, then one day it was just gone. I found myself using my keys to pry the chute open, praying they would not fall in. I found myself using my hard-as-nails gel manicure hoping it would not chip. It really was compromising my mani that set me to it.
You know what I have a lot of? Bondage rope. I use the rope a lot so I’m aware that I have an excess. I use the rope a lot and I’m aware that I have a special skill set: tying knots that will not come untied no matter how much tugging you do.
So
, I just snipped off 18″ of an ol’ red n black “climbing” rope and threaded it through the holes left in the door. Finished it with a square knot. My friend Tommy calls it a Dad knot but guess what’s still not loose or untied weeks later? This Daddy and her knotted femme hack.
You’re welcome, second floor.
Sometimes shit breaks in your apartment building and everyone holds out waiting for someone else to fix it. “The super is supposed to do it!” You know. But no one fixes it, and a kind of grudgematch ensues, where the thing is clearly broken and its staying that way cuz NOT MY JOB. It’s a cute look for folks who’ve just been in apartments too damn long.
This happened to my floor’s garbage chute handle a few weeks ago. First the handle broke half off, then one day it was just gone. I found myself using my keys to pry the chute open, praying they would not fall in. I found myself using my hard-as-nails gel manicure hoping it would not chip. It really was compromising my mani that set me to it.
You know what I have a lot of? Bondage rope. I use the rope a lot so I’m aware that I have an excess. I use the rope a lot and I’m aware that I have a special skill set: tying knots that will not come untied no matter how much tugging you do.
So, I just snipped off 18″ of an ol’ red n black “climbing” rope and threaded it through the holes left in the door. Finished it with a square knot. My friend Tommy calls it a Dad knot but guess what’s still not loose or untied weeks later? This Daddy and her knotted femme hack.
You’re welcome, second floor.