10 Awesome/”Awesome” Things I Learned by Being Fucking Traumatized*

You know what’s educational? Trauma. As I move towards getting “better” after wrestling with some extremely beastly shit this year, I’m getting more able to talk about what it’s been like to have ptsd for the past few months. Here are some things I’ve learned that might be useful for other folks.

1. I’ve gotten really great at asking for help. People like to be helpful…well, some people.

2. I learned what tinctures and flower essences were. Tinctures are distilled herbs you take internally and flower essences are the vibrations of flowers in water that you spray on yourself.

3. I can cry fucking anywhere and I don’t give a goddamn shit who sees me. Public transit is GREAT for crying and fuck it I’ll sit on a stoop and cry if I feel like it. Stop me.

4. I got over some hangups about spirituality, and let my mom pray for me. If I’ll let friends spray the vibrations of flowers at my head, why not let someone who loves me unconditionally put her spiritual energy my way?

5. [try to] Do no more harm. Its not easy to know what people are sensitive to/triggers them.
But if you do know, don’t just bring it up to/around them unless they tell you it’s ok. Let them do it at their speed. Being all Hey Are You Still Thinking About That Thing? Is a dick move.
Being all Hey I’m Thinking About You How Are You is a better bet. See the difference?

6. We can’t always support everyone who asks us to or who we want to. Truth! Back the fuck up if someone tells you to back the fuck up, and back the fuck up if you trigger that person.

7.  Man SO much free stuff! Free diet. I’ve lost 10% of my body weight this year. Whoa.
Free thoughts of hopelessness and despair that the world is irrefutably godawful!
Physically being triggered is like a free workout! It’s exhausting for your whole body to sieze and shake. But going to the gym/physical exercise is still more relaxing and a lot more empowered way to change my body shape.

8. New and great ideas for things like tattoos, performance art, and videos that would NEVER have occurred to me otherwise.

9. Trauma profiteering is totally gross. Thats when someone is traumatized and someone else swoops in to capitalize sexually, emotionally, or socially on them. You’ll know it when you see it… but here’s hoping you never do.

10. It’s great to set your own pace. For me, that’s going slow. It is ok. Traumatic things can happen fast or slow and it’s nice to get to move at not-that speed. Also, this + Back the Fuck Up is the opposite of trauma profiteering. Noted.

*an inexhaustive list